THE MAIMING OF THE SHREW My dearest fellows: When frosty winter shall besiege thy brow, come ye, my friends, to Twelfth Night at the Glib. Such revelry the gods may still allow for foodstuffs sticking tightly to the rib. Her Royal Highness Queen Illicibeth shall with her presence deign us at our spree. With recipes of our Lady MacDeth, O verily what foods these morsels be! My lovely lady Katheter DeVane doth with me host our heavenly soiree. Her beauty driveth many men insane, but only I could steal her heart away. So join us at our genuine behest and take the blade of revelry to breast! In Her Majesty's Service - William Sheepsheare CHARACTERS Queen Illicibeth, Lady MacDeth, Mary, Queen of Schnapps, Ophelia Bottomsworth, Spamlet, Prince of Hallmarke, Caliban Rollon, Gridlock, the Merchant of Tennis, Costello the Abbot