Publisher's blurb: We all love television and the things it commands us to buy, so let's try some tables to roll up TV-related things: Breaking News: It's like having your own, more entertaining version of CNN with headlines like Apple Unveils Inevitability of Death, NASA Director Announces New Types of Cheese, or Health Scare: Burgers Found to Contain Fabulous Swimsuit Issue. Primetime Dramas: Make your debut on USA Network with My So-Called Empire, NYPD Vikings, or Walking Bones! Reality Shows: Cynically exploit your audience with Duck Dad, Cupcake Doctor, or Pregnant Ink! Soap Operas: Tune in for your favorite soaps, like Gravity Shores, Tomorrow Today, or Faraway Hospital!