From Introduction: I went there to steal the Sword. It was supposed to be a quick, in-and-out type of thing. I didn’t mean for things to turn out the way they did. Not that I’m making excuses, I’m just saying. I don’t know how I even got the balls to do what I did; I’m a burglar, not a... Well, I dunno. I guess I saw the opportunity and seized it. In The Oldest, Cruelest Sword, you have a opportunistic Thief, an reclusive Sorceress, and a very opinionated magic Sword. Is this a recipe for adventure, or sexual assault (or maybe both)? As you play, you’ll find out. This is a competitive game. As the Thief, you just want to get the Sword and get out. As the Sorceress, you want to protect your property and your home. As the Sword, you might aid either party. Or, you might decide to fuck both of them. It’s your choice.