Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Bulldogs

From Introduction: Author’s Note: I’d send apologies to both William Shakespeare and Tom Stoppard, but this adventure contains no detectable quantities of existentialism, so I think I’m safe. Just another day in Class D shipping, just another crate to deliver to some backwater world. There do seem to be a suspicious number of people interested in this extremely heavy crate, however. What could be inside? Probably something dangerous, to you and to everyone at the delivery point.