InsaneCorp's Bewildering Biotech

From publisher blurb: In this installment of Star Log.EM: InsaneCorp Presents: 1,000 words of bewildering biotech! Got an artist in your life? Artists love being able to secret a delightful assortment of acrylic paints from their fingertips with our fantastic acryllidigits augmentation! Hate being hungry? Install our cattlegut into YOUR gut so you can eat just about anything whenever you want to! Tired of wearing the same old, boring skin pigmentation day in and day out? Give your skin all the colors of the rainbow with our trademarked chromatophoric skin augmentation! Perhaps you want to leave life as a mundane biological being behind and join the ranks of the deoxyians? InsaneCorp’s deoxyomorphic gland will permanently transmute even the most boring human into a fantastic deoxyian in no time! Have trouble sleeping? Pump enough melatonin to knock out a groborse directly into your blood stream with our wonderful melatonin gland! Don’t see something you like here? With a total of ten different augmentations to choose from, there’s bound to be SOMETHING in stock that’s exactly what you need